Trauma for children comes from many sources, including abuses and accidents, assaults and experiencing or witnessing
violence such as in war. Trauma can be primary or secondary. Primary trauma is when the traumatic
event happens to the child personally, like if he (or she is implied) was in an accident. Secondary trauma is when the
traumatic event happens to someone else, especially if the child has an attachment to that person. Sometimes secondary
trauma can be as harmful as primary trauma.
A symptom is something you can see or feel that tells you something may not be right with a person.
It is the body's way of telling us something needs to be taken care of.
There are three different kinds of symptoms:
1. Symptoms that intrude or interrupt daily events;
2. Symptoms that make us avoid certain places, people or things; and
3. Anxious Symptoms.
The important thing to remember is that these symptoms are a normal reaction to an abnormal situation!
1. Intruding Symptoms: Nightmares; Images of the traumatic event that
invade the mind; Reliving the event; Seeing things or triggers that remind you of the bad thing that happened
and being affected by it.
2. Avoiding Symptoms: Losing interests; Avoiding thoughts, people and situations;
Feeling separate from people; Feeling numb.
3. Anxious symptoms: Feeling jumpy and on edge; Problems sleeping; Tense muscles;
Hard to concentrate; Easily angered; Nervous about people/places.
There are four main parts that make up a person: Behavior, Feelings, Senses, and Thinking. They
must work together to have a whole person. Often, when there is Emotional Trauma these four main parts become
separated and do not work together.
With trauma the chemicals in the brain actually change, making us more sensitive to the world around us.
Trauma symptoms can be easily triggered by anything that reminds us of the traumatic event. Some
examples of things that trigger us may be--noises, smells, or contact with others; certain times of the day; certain
activities; movies; feeling pressured; feeling unsafe; anniversaries--anything that reminds us of the
trauma.
When we are triggered, an alarm sends messages through the body to go into a survival mode--fight or flight (run) or
freeze. In survival mode, there are many changes in the body like the stomach shuts down, blood pressure goes up, and
the lower or survival brain becomes more active. Our thinking brain doesn't work as well when this
happens.
How do I recover from Trauma?
There are three stages of healing:
1. Safety
2. Trauma Release
3. Re-Connection
1. Safety: Before the trauma can be released, we must be safe and feel safe, both outside
and inside.
A. Outside Safety: Are they safe from people who could hurt them? Can they
be assertive and protect themselves from harm? Has every step been taken to protect the child from harm? It
is critically important that the child has structure, predictability, stability, and security in their environment as much
as is possible.
B. Inside Safety: We can learn skills that help us control our feelings and actions
so we don't feel controlled by them. We can also learn how to say what we feel so our feelings don't get as bottled
up. Hope is an anchor for the soul and should always be developed.
C. Psycho-education: An important way to achieve
safety is to learn more about how trauma affects you. The information in this article is designed to help you better
understand trauma's affect on a child or adult. Knowledge of trauma's effects and how to manage these effects can
restore a sense of control to the survivor's life.
2. Trauma Release: This means the emotional pain is released from the trauma memory. When
this happens a lot of the trauma symptoms decrease. There are many ways to release trauma, including:
A. Writing in a Journal: This helps get the
trauma on paper where you can better face and understand it.
B. Honest talk with Safe People: It's amazing the difference it can make to talk
to someone you trust, who won't judge you, who is trying to understand, and who supports you all the time.
C. Expressing Yourself: This makes it possible for the trauma to be put in a form
that allows us to let it go. These forms could include drawing, painting, drama play, and other artistic creations.
Sometimes it helps to burn up what is drawn or created. This gives you a sense of control over ther trauma.
D. Use Trauma Focused Therapies: A short term trauma focused approach, such as EMD/R
(Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) or Thought Field Therapy, often remove the images and emotional pain in
a rapid manner. There should be a practitioner in your area who can use and teach these short-term approaches.
If you are a support person trying to help others deal with their trauma, please remember the following principles:
>They need to feel accepted, with reasonable expectations, and not judged;
>They can often talk better when doing something with their hands;
>Support persons honor the survivor's space and do not intrude where the survivor doesn't want them to;
>People usually need to talk and be listened to at particular times that are right for them but may not be
convenient for you;
>People need to be believed and their painful memories not subjected to criticism;
>Survivors need to have their feelings paid attention to even if it has been said before. Sometimes
they need to repeat themselves many times before the pain starts to move out;
>Sometimes survivors need to be left alone;
>Those who support survivors may need support too, to prevent burnout;
>Never tell a survivor they need to get over it. Each survivor has their own internal pace to heal;
>Not until a painful emotion is accepted can it be released. There is a natural human resistance to
expressing painful emtions. With time, love, patience, and encouragement, what needs to come out will come out;
>Accept the survivor's negative emotions, including hate, rage, and despair. Don't try to talk the survivor
out of these negative emotions. Remember negative emotions have to be accepted before they can be released;
>Don't try to force the survivor to forgive the one that caused the pain. That may happen when the time
is right for the survivor;
3. Re-connection: When we have been through trauma we can become emotionally separated from
people and the world around us. The final stage of healing is to re-connect with them. Here are some ways
to reconnect:
A. Sensing: Playing with animals, nature, gardening, candles, music . . . use all
five senses.
B. Doing: Making or fixing things with our hands, sports, activities with others.
C. Friends: Accepting love and support from them helps us heal.
D. Exercise: Cleans out the chemicals made by stress & adds positive chemicals
that help us relax.
E. Reading: Books that capture our imagination or stimulate our feelings help us re-connect.
F. Listen: Follow your heart and do what helps you feel more whole.
As we heal and become whole, our Behavoir, Feelings, Senses and Thinking work together.
We feel connected inside and are able to respond to others and the world around us. Remember, the key is
to help the child face the trauma in a safe environment rather than bury it and keep it hidden. Buried feelings are
still alive and cause more problems. Get feelings out about what happened in the way that works best for the child.
For one child it may be drawing, for another telling a story, and yet another acting it out like in a play. As the trauma
pain is released, then the child needs to do things that give him a sense of control or mastery, something they like to do,
that they are good at, or something they would like to learn to do that would give them more confidence. Help the child
survivor to believe in himself, that him overcoming his pain, is important to the future of his country and his people.
