Some of the worst stress on this planet is what you experience. This chapter is written to help you cope with and manage your stress. Stress has three elements: 1. the stressor or source of stress; 2. the perception or how you interpret the stress; and 3. the physical response or how your body registers the stress. To begin with let’s look at how you are currently dealing with stress.

The first step: Recognize you stress symptoms. Your stress symptoms fall into four groups or categories: physical, emotional, mental, and behavioral. The symptoms for each area are as follows:

People often fail to recognize that the above symptoms are generated by stress. It is estimated that 90% of the symptoms that cause people to go to a physician’s office are stress related. Since most people do not recognize stress symptoms, rather than solving the actual stress problems in their lives, other actions are taken to deal with the stress that often make the stress problem worse. Drugs and alcohol, taking inappropriate medication, escapist activities, taking risks, and making bad decisions can all be ways of dealing with stress that make stress worse.

The second step: Know where your stress comes from. Knowing where our stress comes from can be more difficult than first appears. The reason is our stressors can combine and mix in ways that make it difficult to distinguish them. Our stress becomes a big undefinable and unsolvable problem. To help you identify your sources of stress so you can begin to solve them, consider the following sources of stress:

Of course, there are many other sources of stress besides these. Try to take an objective look at your life and identify where your stress comes from. In addition to the stressors that impact you in the here and now are our past stressors. The past stressors that cause us the most harm and concern are those that involve trauma, such as child abuse, fighting or divorced parents, or an alcoholic parent. For more information about how to deal with trauma from the past, please refer to the article "Dealing with Trauma in a Time of War."

The Third Step: Dealing with the Stressor or Solving Problems One of the first steps to reduce the stress in your life is to identify the problems. Please look at the following questions. As you answer them try to decide what you need to do to reduce your stressors or solving problems.

1. Can you be more assertive and spend less time doing something for someone, you really don’t want to do anyway? Can you say "no" more? Yes No

2. Can you delegate a task to someone else? Yes No

3. Do you need to do something to get away from someone, or get someone out of your life?

Yes No

4. Do you need to do something to reduce your money stress? Make more money; spend less; budget. etc.? Yes No

5. Do you need to make some kind of changes in you health habits? Eat more nutritionally, drink more water, drink less caffeine, etc.? Yes No

6. Do you need to manage your time more wisely, according to priorities or what really matters to you? Yes No

7. Have you been putting off a decision that needs to be made? Yes No

8. Is there a medical problem you need to deal with and stop putting off? Yes No

9. Is there someone you need to turn to for help and support that you have been avoiding? Yes No

10. Do you need to improve your living conditions in some way that is possible for you to do, but

you’ve been putting it off (cleaning, moving, etc.)? Yes No

Do you know that it causes more stress to put something off rather than to just deal with the problem? The stress that may come to you from the consequences of your actions is still not as stressful as putting it off! Just do it! Take it Step by Step....

Step 1 State your problem. Write it down. Define it. Be clear what the real problem is. Is there anything about your thinking or behavior that makes the problem worse?

Step 2 Decide what the solution is. List or brainstorm all possible solutions. Talk it over with a friend or someone you trust. Pick your best solution. Think about the possible

consequences with your solution. Ask yourself, "If I did this, can I live with what happens?"

Step 3 Evaluate your results. Are you pleased with how this solution works? If not, problem solve again. That is the best thing about life, it’s always changing and so you can always change the end result.

The Fourth Step: Change how You Think of the Stressor We keep going back to that simple process... Thought. You can manage your stress by managing your thoughts. (Refer to the "12

Styles of Distorted Thinking" in the Depression article. Try this exercise...Close your eyes....

Visualize a beautiful lagoon with a white, soft sandy beach and crystal clear water. A gentle warm breeze moves across the lagoon making a slight ripple. The water is so warm and desirable you can’t help but wade into it. It feels so soothing and relaxing! You look up at the beautiful blue sky with white puffy clouds lazily moving across its expanse. You feel your heart beating more slowly, and you feel deeply relaxed. The thought crosses your mind that you would like to lie down on the warm, soft sandy beach.

Just then you notice something in the water that you didn’t see before. You can see two bulges kind of close together. They’re eyes! And then there emerges a back, and then a tail. It’s a crocodile, and it’s swimming toward you! Can you get to the beach in time? Panic surges through you as the crocodile disappears.

Did you notice how such a relaxing and beautiful feeling could be abruptly lost and replaced by fear? Your mind has that kind of power. The beauty of it is that you can choose what images are played out on the screen of your mind. You can choose relaxing and positive images or stressful and negative images. It’s up to you. Perhaps this is one reason the great scientist, Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "Imagination is more important than knowledge."

Look at how often you think negative, stressful thoughts and stop it. To be less stressed, think less stressful thoughts. Your three best doctors are faith, time, and patience. Let these generate your thoughts.