What is Trauma? No matter who you are or how much you try to avoid it,
trauma happens to all of us and effects our lives. Why? Because trauma, much like change, is a part of life. Trauma can be
a seemingly harmless event or a dramatic occurrence that shakes our foundation and changes the course of our lives, as frequently
occurs if you live or serve in Iraq. Trauma is basically any event that causes us to feel helpless and terrified.
Trauma can be experienced in a physical or psychological way. Physical trauma
is like an injury to the head or a broken bone: it effects your physical body. Psychological trauma is an injury to your thoughts
and feelings: it effects your emotions. Regardless of the type of trauma, symptoms or signs of trauma are often felt by the
trauma survivor.
Trauma can occur as a " primary trauma" or "secondary trauma." Primary trauma
is when the event occurs to you personally. An example would be if you are attacked by someone or are in a car accident. Secondary
trauma is when the harmful event occurs to someone you care about or to other individuals in general. Secondary trauma would
be caused by seeing your sister harmed or by witnessing a terrible terrorist attack on a country. Both types cause you to
feel trauma. Symptoms that you may have been experiencing (panic feelings, racing heart, nightmares during the night)
are a result of feeling trauma. The important thing to remember is these symptoms are normal! You are having a normal
response to an abnormal situation or experience.
If you find yourself remembering trauma you have experienced in your life, don’t
be alarmed. It is normal to have memories of trauma. It may be helpful to write those events down and describe how they affected
you. For example, you may have experienced your dog being hit by a car. You would then write, "I saw a car hit my dog." Then
you would describe your feeling as you saw the event: maybe you felt shock or disbelief. Please allow yourself here to write
some feelings about a traumatic event in your life:
Life’s experiments are great fun. This is but another one.
Rudyard Kipling
What Are the Symptoms of Trauma?
A symptom is something you can see or feel that tells you something may not be
quite right. It is the body’s way of signaling us that something needs to be taken care of. The following is a list
of common trauma symptoms. Mark any that you are experiencing or have experienced.
___ Pictures of the bad thing that happened keep coming back to your mind
___ Nightmares or scarey dreams
___ Feeling like the bad thing that happened is happening again
___ Seeing things that remind you of the bad thing that happened and being affected
by it.
___ Trying to avoid people, thoughts or situations that remind you of the bad
thing that happened.
___ Losing interest or enjoyment in things you used to enjoy
___ Can’t remember important parts of the bad thing that happened
___ Feeling separate or not close to people you used to like being around
___ Can’t feel the feelings you used to have like happiness, love and affection
___ Feeling like it is hard to be still-agitation and restlessness
___ It is hard to think about one thing: your mind is all over the place
___ Trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep
___ Getting angry easily
___ Feeling jumpy or edgy
Why Am I Affected by Things That Don’t Seem to Bother Other People?
As a human being you have survival responses, just like wild animals who spend
most of their time looking for something to eat or trying to avoid being eaten. They must be constantly alert to danger in
order to survive. Humans are also compelled to survive in their own way.
Scientists have found that when someone is traumatized, chemicals in the brain
stop working properly and cause increased sensitivity to their surroundings. This causes the individual to become hyper-reactive
or hyper-sensitive. When people are in this state of hyper-arousal, they become very sensitive to various stressors, and their
reactions are magnified. In fact, people who are survivors of trauma are generally hypersensitive to danger long after they
have been traumatized.
You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful garden, but you will
grow if you are sick,
if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put
your head in the
sand, but take the pain and learn to accept it, not as a curse or
punishment but as a
gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Triggers
Stressors and triggers make us feel the original trauma. These are a danger signal
to the trauma survivor, to activate the body into a "fight or flight" reaction. The alarm sends messages through the body
to activate survival systems. These systems include blood pressure, gastro-intestinal, skin, brain chemicals, memory, and
emotions: just about our whole body! If there is no real danger, the arousal of these systems causes your body to become an
enemy instead of a friend, and you literally "stew in your own juices," all wound up with no place to go.
Triggers can be noises, smells or seeing a situation which reminds us of the harmful
event. Triggering activates the emotional feeling or response we experienced in the original traumatic experience(s). Our
minds are able to connect this similar situation to the past memory which causes the present feeling. Here is list of common
"triggers:"
_____loud noises—yelling or cars backfiring
_____discussion about something bad that happened to someone
_____feeling physically vulnerable—such as when changing clothes in a public
place
_____certain music, types of dancing, specific works of art
_____certain smells or textures
_____sexual contact
_____certain times of the day
_____certain physical characteristics—long hair, beards, old age, bald head,
etc.
_____certain activities—bathing, visiting a doctor, driving
_____exposure to weapons—knives, guns, clubs
_____certain movies
_____pressure to perform in a certain way
_____certain anniversaries-birthday, accident, rape, death
_____sights, sounds, feelings
When your brain is "triggered" it also stops working as an information processing
instrument. Instead, the messages it sends make no sense to the rest of the body. Your thinking becomes cloudy and numb, you
are easily distracted, and lose time because of daydreaming. . When the trauma is severe enough, many people find they are
unable to concentrate or remember what they are doing.
A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to
us and possibilities only dimly imagined
.
Psychological Disorders
Traumatized people often experience psychological disorders (disorders affecting
the mind.) Read through the following list of disorders that traumatized people often experience. Mark the ones that have
caused you trouble in the past or trouble you now:
_____Rage is commonly associated with trauma. Rage is excessive
anger resulting from repressed psychological pain and is a survival response. This is generated by the limbic system in the
brain.
_____Excessive Aggression can
often be an expression of powerful feelings like rage that cannot be expressed in any other way. Aggression is dangerous if
it gets out of control. If this is one of your symptoms, you need to seek treatment right away.
_____Impulsivity is the tendency to act without thinking. It is
also a common symptom of trauma because of the powerful impulses and feelings.
_____Inability to Focus Attention and/or Poor Concentration is due to the distracting thoughts and feelings associated with the trauma. It is very
difficult to concentrate and stay on task when unpleasant thoughts continue to invade your mind or when your feelings are
on a roller coaster.
_____Behavioral Problems
like breaking the law, risky activities, drug use, and sexual indiscretions are common in trauma survivors. These problems
are often associated with strong feelings like rage, aggression, being impulsive, and inability to concentrate.
_____Anxiety and Agitation are common symptoms in trauma survivors.
Trauma generates anxiety. The symptoms of anxiety, which include restlessness, worries, sleeplessness, panic, fears,
obsessiveness, and extreme caution are frequently part of the trauma symptoms reported.
_____Depression is almost always associated with trauma. There are
several reasons for this, but mainly it is due to the chemical changes trauma causes in the brain and the reduction of Serotonin
levels. Trauma survivors also have a tendency to turn anger inward and blame themselves for the trauma rather than placing
the responsibility where it should be (on the perpetrator of their trauma or circumstances beyond their control.)
_____Numbing is the "shutting down" of the mental and emotional
system. It is an unconscious way the mind protects you from being overwhelmed with the trauma.
_____Panic Attacks & Avoidance Behaviors are triggered by anything that reminds you of the trauma. This is the reason that panic attacks can
occur unpredictably without any association with the trauma. When the panic attacks begin, avoidance of people and places
once enjoyed soon follows.
_____Distrust & Paranoia towards
people often develops with trauma. This is especially true if the trauma experienced involved sexual abuse in childhood or
intentional injuries inflicted by others. Basic beliefs about what people are supposed to be can be shattered, causing suspicion
of even well-meaning people.
_____Flashbacks & Re-experiencing Symptoms are a frequent part
of post-trauma problems. The human brain stores the trauma experience in great detail and produces it, usually without warning.
Researchers believe this is the brains way of trying to get rid of the unwanted experience.
_____Obsessive-Compulsive Tendencies are associated with trauma
due to the anxiety. Trauma creates a sense of loss of control and one way to regain it is to increase strictness of schedules,
rules and orderliness. Thoughts and behaviors can be repeated endlessly in an attempt to control what feels out of control.
_____Somatic Complaints involve bodily pains and discomforts, such
as headaches, gastro-intestinal problems (stomach aches, heartburn, diarrhea or constipation), body aches, fatigue and heart
palpitations. The strain on your body from traumatic stress also weakens your immune system, making you more vulnerable to
sickness and disease.
_____Eating Disorders
are often traced to traumatic experiences. Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia generally begin in the attempt to avoid feeling overwhelmed
by the sense of terror experienced in the trauma. It is the attempt to gain personal control.
_____Sleep Disturbances
are common with trauma. One reason is the mind attempts to work through the trauma in your dreams which come out as nightmares.
Also, trauma generates anxiety which has symptoms that can keep you awake. Poor sleep worsens most of your other symptoms
and lowers your performance.
_____Self-Esteem
is affected by trauma. You are not yourself, and negative thinking about yourself can grow leaving you less able to do what
you were once able to do.
Difficulties can stimulate us to our greatest achievements.
A wounded deer leaps the highest. --Emily Dickenson
How Do I Recover From Trauma?
There are three basic stages in recovering from trauma.
1 The
first stage is SAFETY. It is very important to maintain safety throughout the healing and recovery process. This includes
being away from any new sources of trauma. For example, if you have been in a relationship that is dangerous, safety means
you stay away from the people that could hurt you. If you have a parent that is very controlling, it means you either communicate
assertively with that parent or stay away from him/her completely.
Your thoughts and feelings must be kept safe also. That means it is extremely
important to manage your thoughts so they don’t get out of control. It is also important to do things that keep your
"strong and out-of-control" feelings from overwhelming you. Safety in your life is a skill that must be learned.
2 The second
stage is TRAUMA RESOLUTION. Trauma resolution takes place when you remove the emotional pain from your trauma memory.
You can tell when this is happening because you feel less sensitive to what used to trigger the trauma memory, such as sights,
sounds and smells, even thinking about the traumatic experience.
The key to trauma resolution is not just to resolve the trauma, but to help you
become more resilient to it. Resilience is the ability to bounce back, move on with life, and improve the quality of your
life in spite of adversity or trauma. For example, it may be tempting to avoid others during a difficult time. You build resilience
if you join a group or become involved in the lives of others even though your natural feelings are to stay away.
Things to Remember While Overcoming and Healing From Traumatic Events
The same strength required to survive
a traumatic event can be used to overcome it’s effects. "Discovering Personal Strengths," a handout with Chapter
3 can help you rediscover the strengths you have had in the past—to get you through difficult times.
The attitude you take can give meaning to
your suffering and give you power. Life problems and suffering can help you find the answers to one of life’s most
important questions—"What is life asking of me right now?" Our suffering and difficulties are often better understood
when we compare them to the suffering and difficulties of others. This is one of the important benefits
of doing group work.
Healing from a traumatic event
involves putting together the four functions of sensing, behaving, feeling and thinking. (Healing tends to unfold in that
order. See the third stage on Reconnecting.)
You are made up of the parts
of your personality. These parts can bring strengths and resources that help you release your pain, make progress, heal
relationships, and accomplish things. You can learn to access these parts with your therapist.
Connection to others helps you
heal and find meaning. Learning to share your thoughts and feelings is healing and develops close relationships.
To find and restore meaning
to your life, turn to your inner self and God. Meditation, prayer, scripture study, inspired thoughts, paying attention
to dreams and early morning insights can help you do this. Your sense of self becomes bigger than the trauma.
Writing or keeping
a journal is very valuable for healing because writing helps get the inside to the outside where it needs to be to start healing.
To actually write with a pen or pencil is more healing than typing. What to write about? Whatever comes, let it come. Don’t
force it. Set aside some time everyday, at least ten minutes to write. Then think about what you write and discover what meaning
it has. Your healing will be underway.
The goal of trauma resolution is to make the
trauma experience part of the your life without letting it control the rest of your life.
3 RE-CONNECTING is the third stage. It
means you have resolved the trauma well enough to re-connect to yourself and others. When the trauma is resolved and you can
think and feel again, you are able to relate to your world in a whole new way that is both rewarding and exciting.
There are four main parts of our being a person
that must work together if they are to work well. These are sensing, feeling, thinking, and doing(behavior).
Sensing
You have five
senses so that you can learn things and enjoy your life. Often, feeling trauma gets in the way of our senses so they stop
doing what they were designed to do. Symptoms of trauma often cut off messages from your senses. Reconnecting with your pleasurable
senses is a great way to heal.
Touch
- One of my favorite experiences is getting close to animals. I love to put my arms around the neck of
my big golden retriever "Bounder" and soak in his love and acceptance.
I remember a woman who was struggling to overcome the effects of a traumatic childhood.
I asked her how as a child she was able to cope with the pain. She replied that she had a dog that helped her. I asked her
if she had a dog now, she said no and explained that she lived in an apartment and couldn’t have a dog. I suggested
that a dog helped her get through a painful childhood, and it just might be a dog that could help her overcome the effects
of that childhood. Within a few weeks, she had moved to a home where she could have a dog. She got her dog and found that
her healing process began to increase by leaps and bounds!
Smell -
Did you know the one sense that goes straight to your brain and brings
very strong feelings is your sense of smell? Wonderful smells bring back special times in our lives. Have you ever smelled
something and almost instantly it brought back a memory? Many smells help you calm down and sooth your tension. Try to find
smells that bring back pleasurable feelings. List smells you have discovered that help you feel better. _______________________________________________
Taste
- Many of us connect the taste of certain foods with a beautiful memory. Grandma’s cobbler, the neighbor lady’s
cookies, mom’s cooked breakfast.....whatever it is for you, these memory foods can bring moments of well-being back
to mind and help you reconnect with your personal happy times.
Sight
- Another great
way to heal is with Nature. Even if you live in the city there are parks close by where you can go to heal in nature. Birds
pecking at the bread crumbs you leave on your window sill, sunrises and sunsets to watch, photographs or pictures of things
you discover.....write about the things you see in nature to give you a lift. Is there anything that you could look at that
would increase your sense of pleasure in just seeing it?
__________________________________________________
Hearing
- Sounds can be connected to good or bad memories, so seek out the good. This may be hearing your favorite song or the song
of a bird, or even the rustle of leaves moving in the breeze. Don’t forget the simple sounds. There is something about
the sound of water, the ocean waves, or a gurgling stream that is healing. Listening to music is one way to let your
sense of hearing help you deal with trauma. Be careful to stay away from heavy metal and rap music. There is actually scientific
evidence that these types of music are harmful. Of course, there is music that lifts and encourages in most styles of music.
Find what works for you. Music can synchronize with the mind and create inner harmony and peace
Feeling Trauma tends
to dull and numb our feelings as it does our senses, so what can we do about it?
One of the most important ways to deal with your feelings is to talk about them.
Often when we have trauma we are afraid to let our feelings out because we can’t be sure what feelings may surface,
so we stuff our feelings and become quiet. We don’t want to talk. That is the opposite of what we should do. Here is
a simple way to share your feelings: I feel (put the feeling here) because (this is happening or when this happened).
Let’s try it:
Your best friend was hurt in a car accident and won’t be available for a
long time.
I feel ____________________________ because _______________________________
Your favorite shirt or blouse gets stained with grease and can’t be cleaned.
I feel ____________________________ because ________________________________
You get in an argument with your mother.
I feel ___________________________ because __________________________________
You witness a horrible car accident where some people are badly hurt.
I feel ___________________________ because ____________________________________
Each of us needs someone close to share our lives with. The trauma that happened
to you may have also happened to other members of your family, or to a friend. If this is the case, it may be a good time
to get closer to help each other heal.
Another important part of our feelings is how we feel about God. Sometimes when
really bad things happen to us or to those we love, we blame God. It is hard to understand how God can love us and still not
stop horrible tragedies from happening to us.
While I don’t think I have the complete answer, I have made a discovery
of my own. When I am hurting the most or I’m dealing with difficult times, my heart is often at a kind of crossroads.
I can become frustrated, stuck, and angry OR I can try to be more patient and find the place inside where I am more sensitive.
When I do, I am more likely to feel those things that can connect me with God. And when I feel more of this connection, I
find a way to continue trying. Look for examples of God’s love in your life and try to feel it even if you don’t
understand why God didn’t stop this tragedy from happening. Some problems just take longer to solve.
Thinking There is a
very good way to use your "thinker" to overcome Feeling Trauma. It is Think to Thank —think of all of the things
that you are grateful for and then give thanks. Try this for one month. Keep a journal in which you write down what you think
about or notice each day that you appreciate or enjoy, or that you feel thankful for. There are so many things in each of
our lives to be grateful for. We just need to notice, pause, and enjoy them. For example, notice the pleasure you receive
from taking a deep, cleansing breath. Now that you’ve noticed, express how grateful you are for the air you breathe.
Reading good books can be a wonderful way to help get your mind into a place that
is more safe and less sad. Some of my favorites are the Chris Van Allsburg children’s books, the four "Frog and Toad"
books by Arnold Lobel, and Max Lucado’s "You Are Special." They are simple and fun and can be quite thought provoking.
I enjoy the art in the pictures, and the colors are bright and cheerful. The adventures are fun and sometimes silly. Consider
going to the library and discover books that you would enjoy.
Doing (Behavior) When our sensing, feeling and thinking
are not working well, it affects how we do things. We may not enjoy doing what we once did. We may feel so sad that we have
trouble getting up and moving. We may even be confused in our thinking, not able to decide what to do. The answer is to stay
active and do things even if you don’t feel like it, or even wonder if you can.
When we experience feeling trauma there are chemicals that build up in our bodies.
By the same process, when you are doing things, good chemicals are put into your body that make you feel better, even
as undesirable chemicals are burned away. So stay active! What are (or used to be) some of your favorite activities?
What’s important is finding out what works for you.
There is one thing you can do that will make more of a difference to you than
just about anything else — EXERCISE. There are many things that exercise will do for you (See enclosed handout Over
100 Ways Exercise will Enrich the Quality of Your Life).
1) Exercise gets rid of those chemicals and toxins that gather in your body during
stress and trauma. If these chemicals and toxins aren’t removed, they can lead to physical or emotional breakdown.
2) Exercise releases positive chemicals like endorphins in your brain that help
you relax and have a greater sense of well-being.
3) Exercise helps you sleep more deeply and in a way that better restores you,
plus many more benefits.
At the Trauma Awareness & Treatment Center we have great respect for
survivors of trauma. We also have great respect for the process of healing that you will experience. We have come to recognize
that healing is a very personal process, that it isn’t the same for any two people. Because of that, we are open to
many different approaches and methods that could work for you. Healing from trauma often seems to involve a miracle in some
way, and we appreciate the privilege to be part of your miracle of healing.
Goal for Chapter 7 "When There’s Been Trauma: Regaining Control"
What are some principles you can start using immediately to overcome the effects
of your trauma and speed up your healing?
________________________________________________
Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures,
but of the success that may come tomorrow.
You have set yourselves a difficult task,
but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy
in overcoming obstacles.
Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful
is ever lost.
—Helen Keller